Zen Living

In my constant quest to evolve into a better person and handle stress better, I have been reading Zen Living (and since I'm a complete idiot, I thought this particular book would serve me well!)

Okay, a lot of the principles are a little "Hippy Dippy" to me, but I really want to start focusing on some of the principles.

One misconception is that Zen Living replaces your current religion. Living Zen is more of a way of living and viewing life than a religion and it really would work with any religion (at least the Christian religions that I am familiar with.)

The principle that I have really tried to wrap my brain around and practice today is simply "Living in the NOW" and letting go of worries of yesterday and tomorrow. I have always been guilty of rushing through life trying to accomplish SOMETHING and putting off living until I had reached that goal.

Living consciously. It sounds simple and intuitive, but really... think about it... how often do you stop to live in the moment and make an effort to enjoy EVERY moment of your day? I walked out in a slight drizzle tonight from work. Normally I would have been running to the car and driving as fast as I could to get home. Tonight, I walked slowly, enjoying the feeling of the cool drizzle, the odd-colored sky, and the fresh, crisp air. I noticed how several "weeds" that had sprung up on the hillside had sprung beautiful purple flowers in the most unusual shapes. I rolled my windows down a little on the way home and turned off the radio. It was so relaxing and I'm sure the Def Leppard rock marathon didn't miss me at all.

Lexapro was created by the devil

I went to my doctor (who I really don't know) approximately 6 months ago because I was just feeling EXHAUSTED all the time. Okay, keep in mind I have a lot that I'm trying to balance so not feeling overwhelmed would mean I wasn't human!

Anyway, my stranger doc said I was probably depressed and gave me a bunch of samples of Lexapro. Really? Okay, I don't blame the doc b/c business is business and I DO have a mind of my own, but I never complained of being depressed and he never told me how HARD coming off Lexapro would be. So, being unaware of the implications, I started!

Okay, so you're probably wondering what is so bad about being on Lexapro... Well, first of all the reason I went to the doc was because I was SO tired. Lexapro gave me the most vivid, crazy, disturbing dreams I've ever had. Talk about exhaustion! I never felt like I slept!

Number two, I gained weight FAST. I wasn't eating more. I just gained weight. What the heck is that about?

Number three, I stopped having emotions at all. Sure, I was irritable anymore, but gosh I didn't feel ANYTHING anymore. Even worse, I didn't care if I got out of bed and went to work or not. I just didn't care about anything.

After mixing a week of work (and a day or two of showers) I decided Lexapro was NOT for me and that we, as a society, think we must have a stupid pill to fix everything. Feeling fat? Don't cut out the ice cream...just take this pill! Feeling sad? Don't work on coping techniques and adjust your life... just take this pill! It is CRAZY! And all the while the drug companies are booming!

So I decided to go off Lexapro and then came REAL depression, nausea, dizziness, and an emotional roller coaster that makes Six Flags seem like child's play. Going cold-turkey off Lexapro isn't a good option.

Instead, what I've done is gradually cut my dose down everyday by maintaining the reduced dose for about a month. Yesterday, I started feeling like myself again. Yes, I do feel irritable at times but gosh! It feels great just to FEEL!

I'm not saying that Lexapro is terrible for everyone, but I do think that doctors throw out drugs like Santa throws out candy at a Christmas parade and that sometimes people take drugs that make their lives (and bodies!) worse, not better. I believe that sometimes when a person is overwhelmed, tired, or blue that perhaps it is time to reevaluate your life and make changes instead of making the drug companies rich.